Dear Mum,
i know you're trying your best to give me food, clothes and so on. But I hope you know that people can't live without love. When you're about to hug me, I always feel nothing. NOTHING. It feels cold. Hateful. Why don't you just say that you love me. Or hate me. Or just say what you feel. You didn't noticed my scars. You didn't noticed anything. You don't know ANYTHING about me.
You know nothing.
Today my aunt asked me if I cut myself. Because she noticed the scars on my legs. She's not blind, like you pretend sometimes. Of course I answered I didn't cut myself there.
She belived it. Of course she did. You all think I'm happy. But mum, you did hurt my soul too often.
It's like you stuck a knife in my heart - 100 times. But of course it's my fault. It's ALL MY FAULT. You don't notice me, when I'm crying the whole night because I feel worthless. You don't care if I'm sick. I have to go to school, even when I'm about to die I would have to. You don't give a shit. You don't know that I have social problems, that I feel not good enaugh for anything, that I have suicidal thoughts and that I'm cutting. I'm wondering if you would care.
Maybe you would think it's funny. Because it's all funny what I do 'cause you're thinking i'm a little kid. I'm not.
Someday I know you will notice everything. But then it will be too late.
Love, your disappointed daughter.
